Journey of Self-Discovery: Road Map for Young Adults

Introduction:

No matter what people say about you, the only thing that will remain unchanged and keep you going is your originality – that is You! No matter how hard you try to please the whole world, you need to exhibit that self, called You. In today’s ever-evolving world, it looks like an arduous task for young people to identify their identities, values, and passions in life and pathways to the future.

Hmm!  Self-discovery! It is an inevitable life journey that allows youths to have a better picture of themselves and their position in the world.

This guide is aimed at providing tips for young adults to navigate the journey of self-discovery.

“Be yourself.” We have all heard these words numerous times. Just two words. How much simpler could it be? But, take a moment to think about what that means to you. Who are you? What do you believe in? What do you stand for?  For many of us, discovering oneself is an uphill struggle.

Imagine we all had the opportunity to discover who we truly were when we were teenagers. What if we took the time to find our true nature, transcend fears, and learn important life skills such as communication, self-acceptance, building trust, and being individualistic when we were teens? How much difference would our 20s and 30s be? Very different, I am sure.

Maybe our 20s would become like our 30s where we would be more confident and sure of who we are, and in our 30s we would have been equipped with tools to live a more fulfilling life, harmoniously interact, and live with others in peace.

A flashback to when you were a teenager. Was there a mentor in your life? Did you have someone who guided you to be your true self and listen to the voice from within? From my personal experience, this unique personality was mostly absent or stubbornly ignored as it came from my mother, in my case.

Unfortunately, as much good advice as our parents may have had for us or as parents we may have for our children, we or they may not be ready to listen. Sometimes, it takes a third-party influence for this message to stick. Believe me.

Discovering who you are, could be a challenging task but is an integral step for status positioning.

Let’s brainstorm about these six points on self-realization. Trust me, these will do your confidence a lot of good. The fact is, it is worth intense mental effort to discover who you are as a person and discover what makes you — the real you!

Here we share six quick and easy steps you can apply to your way of life towards the discovery of your real self and this I know will assist you to find a better direction that will help unleash the uniqueness embedded in you.

1. Knowing Your Strengths

You have strengths. We all have strengths — things that we are particularly good at:

*Ability to listen

*Ability to make people feel better when they are down.

*Ability to clearly explain what others need to know.

Are you fond of taking advantage of people, even when they are weak, blind, deaf, or incapacitated?

Are you fond of ripping people off their opportunity even when they merited it?

Do you derive pleasure from peoples’ pain, and agony even to the point of death?

Do you just want to have your way…never minding whose ox is gored?! – My way or no way! Without critically considering all points.

Do you love helping people build their future, even if the condition is twisted, will you still restore their hope? Do you influence people positively or negatively?

Who are you? Where do you position yourself in this world?

Understand what your strengths are, not by looking at them with an inflated ego, and certainly not by looking at them with too much depreciation but rather by taking self-inventory and asking yourself “What am I good at?”. Then, decide if you are satisfied with the list of things you’re good at, and broaden the horizon of your values in the future.

2. Be firm in your attitudinal disposition

What boundaries do you have, and how firm are they? Honesty means that you believe in telling the truth and not taking unjustly from others.

For instance, you were on a passenger train, and a commuter seated next to you stood up to alight at the next bus stop, and a wallet filled with money fell from his pocket, what would you do? Would you allow him to go or beckon on him to pick up his property? Would you decide it was a mistake in your favour and move on?

We all have boundaries that we don’t think about.

Find out what your boundaries are, to know more about who you are — starting with identifying your core values.

3. Trust Your Judgement

Part of discovering your true self is to have doubts, know who you are, and not allow that unwelcome feeling of doubt to crumble or hold you down.

Even some of the greatest people at the top of their fields — entertainers, athletes, and politicians admit they have doubts, they look back to say that doubt is a stimulus on their way to success because doubts will come into our lives at a point in time. We all have doubts. The difference is what do we do with those doubts when the time comes?

Learning to “be yourself” can be easier said than done. Some of us have already known and have always known who we are. While some of us are yet to figure it out.

Knowing who you are, makes you know when, what, where, and how to utilise those materials at your disposal, by materials I mean – your naturally embedded unique values that make up the real you. It gives you confidence, helps you achieve your goals, and makes it easier for you to build strong and meaningful relationships with other people who accept and love you for who you are.

4. What Does The World Mean to You?

When we were all kids, the world was viewed as a small scope involving a few others – father, mother, siblings sometimes, may include uncle and aunty; sociologically it’s called “Significant others”.

As we became older, our world got larger and we learned more about compassion and other people, sociologically referred to as “Social others”.  To understand yourself better, it’s important to learn, study, and critically consider how you view the world around you.

Do you limit your concerns to your family, friends, community groups, and others who look, act, and think like you?

Do you find yourself thinking of broader groups and how you might fit into their lives and equally how they fit into yours? Do you know that before you, there was Life and Life will continue without you?

Rather than be judgmental in how you view the world around you, make an effort to broaden your horizons so you can better understand yourself and your place in this world.

5. Do you Aim At Goals?

We all have a purpose for coming to this world, something we want to successfully achieve, something we love to be known for, and recognizing what those elements are is an integral part of discovering who we are. Every one of us, including you and I, should have personal goals — perpetual critical thinking about what, where, when, why, and how to achieve the goals helps us discover our real being.

The definition of success is relatively different from an individual point of view. For some, success might mean graduating from University, marrying your ‘dream spouse’, or becoming a millionaire by a certain age, etc. For you, specifically, however, what are your goals and what realistic steps are you going to take every day to achieve those goals?

Get time to make a note and take note of your personal goals and your plan of action to attain every one of those goals.

6. Identify Your Limit

Let’s try this for a moment. Oh!  Wait a minute!  Read through my illustration, digest it, and just follow my lead.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath, vision the reflection of your image from within, and imagine yourself spreading out your two hands in a horizontal position while your body is in a vertical position and rolling in an orbital motion, as you keep imagining the movement then, let the question come from your inner vision and ask yourself – “who am I?”

Ask the question repeatedly and concurrently think about some actions and inactions you have taken in the past in some circumstances, wait a minute! Did you hear those flickered faint voices answering your question?

Now, open your eyes. Welcome to reality. Who are you? Whatever the answer you got from the above deep-thought illustration, in reality! That’s who you are.

Knowing your limit will let you focus and manage your resources – no matter what you are naturally gifted with.

Your limit defines your:

* Dos and Don’ts.

* Likes and Hates.

* Strength and Weakness.

* Opportunities and Threats.

* Friends and Enemy.

You don’t need to go to the war you know you can’t win. Identifying your limit would not stop you from forging ahead or moving on, but rather inspire you towards a new dimension and or a new approach, it helps you to see the pathway before venturing into it, and it assists you in making or taking a quick and good decision as to what:

* Time to Talk and Time to Mute.

* Time to Smile and time to Cry

* Time to Play and time to Moody.

* Time to Stay and time to Leave.

* Time to Defend and Time to Attack.

* Time to say NO and time to say Yes.

* Time to Accept and time to Reject.

* Time to say Sorry and time to be Unapologetic.

* Time to Shift your ground and time to stand your ground.

* Time to pay a visit and time to say Goodbye.

You can go on and on picking out all these characteristics embedded in you, the fact is, they reflect the true image of your real self, and anyone can do it.

* You can ponder beyond my reasoning

* You can think beyond my thoughts.

* You can perceive beyond my perception.

* You can deduce beyond my decision.

* You can decode beyond my coding.

 Just think inwards with utmost tenacity to bring out the best in you. Your limit helps you to see the End from the right Beginning. Your limit is the X-ray of your life. Remember, this is your journey,  buckle up, it’s never too late to dash out! – Be Yourself (BY).

Abidemi Okiji is PA to Erelu Apesin Funmilayo Aiyeola, Chairperson, Erelu Apesin Funmilayo Aiyeola, Foundation, a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO), saddled with the responsibility of bringing Hope to the hopeless, through Educational, Health and Economic development programmes.

Abidemi is a Mentor to Youths and is proudly Nigerian.

What’s your thought about this?